


Breakdown

by AngelBless



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, kinkmeme fill, noct dealing with a loooot of denial tho ):, noct-ignis centric, not many things to tag on this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-16
Updated: 2018-02-16
Packaged: 2019-03-19 14:26:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13706334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelBless/pseuds/AngelBless
Summary: Noctis thought he'd been handling everything well, all things considered. Sometimes it takes only one moment to pull you under completely.





	Breakdown

**Author's Note:**

> Time for another fill! Sorta latched onto [this prompt](https://ffxv-kinkmeme.dreamwidth.org/4398.html?thread=8820270#cmt8820270), so thought I'd give it a go! idk if it fills all the points, but I enjoyed working on it, and I hope you'll enjoy reading it <3

The morning was pretty uneventful, all things considered. Wake up at an annoyingly early hour at their temporary base of operations at the Leville in Lestallum, eat a quick breakfast and prepare for the day. Noctis was thankful for the slow start to the morning—they were due to head out to the waterfall Talcott had spoken of in search of the next Royal Arm, and with the headaches he’d been experiencing, taking things easy for the moment wasn’t anything he’d turn his nose up at.

He sighed, side glancing over to Ignis as he discussed...something or other with the hotel receptionist. The prince was sat on one of the far too comfy sofas that adorned the foyer, waiting for Ignis to be done talking and for Gladio and Prompto to return with supplies.

His gaze drifted over to the table before him. There was nothing really that interesting on it—a couple of travel leaflets and a weekly gossip magazine. He lazily picked up the magazine, frowning at the torn off front cover. Maybe one of the patrons took some objection to it, or there was something interesting enough on it to keep.

Ignis was still chatting away—something about local dishes now, or something. Shaking his head with an amused smirk and a roll of his eyes, he began to flick through the pages of the magazine. It was nothing he didn’t already expect, some larger than life stories from people desperate for attention, new fashion trends from Altissia, just the usual—

His heart had stopped, he was sure of it. An icy feeling crept over him, sending a shock to his brain and wrapping itself tightly around his lungs as he stared at the pages before him.

_ CHAOS AT THE CITADEL: EXCLUSIVE FIRST PHOTOS _

He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the double page spread, as much as he pleaded with his body to do something— _ anything _ —not to look. His vision tunneled as his heart hammered in his head, the pictures burning themselves into his mind. The hallways and rooms he had bounded through as a child, the throne room where he had often looked up at his father in wonder...all of it in ruins, clear as day. He pleaded with his mind to stop, but his eyes darted around the page, frantically trying to take in every bit of information possible against his permission.

He’d seen Insomnia’s destruction, but only from a distance—he could have easily assumed it to be a different city from the unfamiliar view that day. But seeing it all so close, so real, so  _ sudden _ . His mind raced. A photo of a large, empty room.  _ ‘Was this where the King met his demise among the chaos?’ _ the caption asked. Oh gods, he could see  _ blood _ on the floor.  _ His father’s blood. _ Trembling hands tensing around the now crumpling pages of the magazine, his blood ran cold at a photograph in the corner of the page. Unlike the others, this one contained no devastation, only two people.

It was him, with his dad. Mocking him, taunting him with a time when his father was still alive, when he could  _ talk _ to him. Even though they had drifted so far apart, he was still  _ there _ . The Noct in that photo could have said so much— _ done _ so much. Now it was all gone. He never realised how little it had all truly dawned on him.

“Noct?”

He slammed the magazine shut at the sudden mention of his name. Head darting to the voice’s direction, he tried to steady his shallow breathing. Ignis was approaching, brows pinched in concern.

“You look a bit out of sorts. Is everything alright?”

He struggled to speak, blinking away the fuzzy patches forming in his vision. He finally released his grip on the magazine and dropped it back onto the table and cleared his throat.

“Y-yeah,” he said, hoping he sounded much more casual than he felt. “You started me, that’s all.” Ignis’ eyes’ narrowed slightly—it was clear he had picked up on a change in his friend’s behaviour.

“I’ve secured us another night’s accommodation—now we just have to find Gladio and Prompto.” He paused, studying the younger man. “Are you certain you’re alright?”

Shit, he really wasn’t hiding any of this well at all. His heart beat to an odd rhythm, distorting his vision with each irregular pounding as his breathing refused to calm. He had to get away—just for a little bit. “M’fine,” he said, standing up. “Just...remembered something I left in the room. Go on ahead, I’ll catch up.” He winced at the waver in his voice, scrambling to the stairs before Ignis could protest. A tornado of thoughts swirled in his head as he focused on making it to the hotel room.

Fumbling to open the door, his world narrowed to a pinprick as he stumbled towards the bed, barely hearing the dull thud of the door shutting as his head and heart mercilessly pounded off-beat, sending a dizziness through his body that overwhelmed him. He crashed to his knees, hunching over the bed, gripping the sheets until his knuckles turned white. It felt as if his entire body was shutting down.

His dad was gone. Everything was in ruins.

As much as he’d pushed the thoughts from his mind—thought he’d managed to accept his position—they came back with a fury that sent his head into a tailspin. Everything now fell to him.

A pathetic, clueless prince. Against an entire empire.

 

“Hey Iggy, all set?” Prompto asked as he entered the Leville, camera in hand from snapshots he’d taken during his stroll. The blond looked around the foyer, puzzled. “Is Noct not up yet?” Ignis briefly adjusted his glasses, glancing up towards the stairs.

“Yes, but he claimed he’d forgotten something. I should expect he’ll return shortly.” He’d been gone for over ten minutes by now. What could he possibly be looking for?

“Wouldn’t put it past him to fall asleep while searching the room,” Gladio said with an unamused snort of air.

“Those headaches have been pretty bad for him,” Prompto said, worry in his voice. “Do you think he’s okay?”

“I’ll check up on him. Go on ahead to the Regalia,” Ignis instructed them. “We’ll be with you shortly.”

“Right,” Prompto said hesitantly with a small nod. The two left as Ignis moved to head up the stairs. He paused, taking note of the magazine that lay partly crumpled on the table. Noct had it in his hands when he’d approached, hadn’t he? Opening it up, the creased pages landed easily on the article the prince had seen. Ignis’ eyes widened as he threw the magazine back down and darted up the stairs.

“Noct? Noct, are you in there?” Knocking gently on the door, Ignis waited with bated breath for a response, holding some respect for Noct’s privacy, despite the dread feeling in his stomach. Pressing an ear to the door, his heart sank at the faint choked sounds on the other side. “Noct, I’m coming in,” he said firmly, thankful to feel no resistance as the door opened.

He only had a second to take in the sight before him before racing over. Noct was on the ground, hunched over and clinging to the sheets for dear life, dragging air desperately into his lungs. The advisor crouched down, surprised at his own hesitancy to place a hand on his back. “Noct?” he said quietly. Nothing. “ _ Noctis. _ ” His voice was much firmer, finally placing his hand on the young man’s shaking form. There was a sudden gasp of air in response as his muscles tensed—Ignis almost pulled away, but kept his touch gentle as he gently rubbed the prince’s back. “Can you hear me?” A shuddering rippled through Noct’s body. “Noctis, can you hear me?”

A few long seconds later, he turned to look at Ignis, eyes wide and unfocused. “I-Ig—” he managed to choke out before gasping for air once more, his breath far too fast and shallow. In no time at all, Ignis had pulled him close, one hand reassuringly around his shoulders, the other rested against the back of his head.

“Shhh,” Ignis soothed, gently sifting his fingers through soft black hair. “It’s alright, Noct. Deep breaths now, alright?”

“I...I ca—” He gasped for air again. “Can’t—”

“You can. Focus on my voice. You can do it, I promise.”

It took some agonizing minutes full of endless calming words before his lungs finally accepted more than a tiny burst of air at a time. His body slumped against Ignis’, though he still shook as if ice had seeped its way into his very bones. Ignis continued to hold him close, speaking reassurances as he refused to let go. How could he have been so foolish? He had noticed a change in Noct’s behaviour, yet made no effort to pursue it further. He had inadvertently left his charge completely alone in such a state.

Carefully, Ignis moved so they were both resting with their backs against the bed, remaining on the floor. Still he continued to comb through Noctis’ hair as his head slumped against the advisor’s shoulder. The tremble was still there—somewhat reduced now, thankfully—heart-wrenchingly complimenting his shaky breath as the room descended into an eerie quiet for what felt like hours.

“M’sorry...” Ignis looked to look at Noct as a low mumble escaped his lips. The poor man looked exhausted, his eyelids heavy and his gaze on something seemingly miles away.

“You’ve nothing to apologise for,” Ignis replied softly, gently rubbing his hand along the other’s forearm.

“I’m holding everyone up. Should be going now.” It was scary how emotionless his voice had become. Others may have found the prince to be quite inexpressive, but there was a lot of subtleties people never picked up on. His voice as it was now possessed none of the energy it usually contained.

“We’ll go when you’re feeling right,” Ignis said decisively. He heard a low whimper in response as the room went silent once more. Thinking back to the magazine, he frowned. As hesitant as he was to push the subject for fear of some kind of relapse, it needed to be discussed. “Noct, I...I saw the magazine article. I’m sorry, I should have realised your distress sooner.”

Noct’s head snapped to look at Ignis as he swallowed hard, his breath hitching. A look of shame passed over his face as his eyes darted away, afraid to look his friend in the eye. A laugh escaped him, devoid of emotion. “How pathetic am I?” he said, his voice quiet and rough. “Said I’d accepted what happened, but I just acted like it wasn’t real, like I could just ignore it and it’d go away. Seeing it there. It made it so...” He trailed off, tired gaze lingering somewhere into middle distance. Persistently nagging thoughts and doubts had invaded his mind ever since the morning he woke to discover the attack. It was amazing how quickly something could pull them all for the forefront in the worst possible way.

Ignis let the quiet settle in once more. Noctis needed time to piece together his own thoughts. It was time they unfortunately lacked, but he wasn’t so callous as to push him onwards when the poor prince could only stand so much. A question still burned in his mind, however. “Why didn’t you tell me how you were feeling back in the foyer?” Noct responded with a noncommittal shrug.

“Didn’t think it was gonna be that bad,” he mumbled, earning a look of displeasure from Ignis. “Thought a few minutes alone and I’d be fine.” Ignis sighed.

“I understand your wanting to be by yourself, but perhaps, should it happen again, you’ll be inclined to tell me so you’re not left suffering on your own for so long.” Noct spoke a barely audible ‘sorry’, once again opting to stare in silence, attempting to make sense of his stream of thoughts.

“He was trying to tell me—back at the Citadel,” Noct finally said after a long few moments. Ignis remained silent, continuing to sift his fingers through Noct’s hair. “Why didn’t I realise before? I could’ve gone back, I could’ve—” His breathing quickened again, tears threatening to spill as Ignis’ hold on him tightened.

“There was nothing to be done. None of us found anything dubious in His Majesty’s words, they were merely the parting guidance from a father to his beloved son. You needed to live, Noct. He knew that. To stay behind or return would have been fatal.”

And yet, Noct’s mind raced with what ifs. If he had stayed, could he have defeated his father’s murderer before it was too late? Could they have both escaped the ruins of their city together? A bigger part of him than he dare to admit wished beyond anything that upon his return, his father would still be there, ready to greet him with open arms. Luna was still alive after reports of her death—hell,  _ he _ was still alive after said reports, but the sickening sight of the blood splattered across the hall, the sheer chaos that had descended upon their home. It felt like the last remnants of that childish illusion had shattered at last.

The tears escaped before Noct had even realised; one, followed by many. He curled up and sobbed as Ignis pulled him close, head resting on his chest. It didn’t matter if it was ‘unbecoming’ of royalty to cause such a scene, he  _ needed _ this. Needed to vent, to cry, to scream out the utter mess in his head until his escalating whirlwind of regrets finally subsided.

 

It was a short while later before Noct finally settled down once more, awkwardly moving away from Ignis’ hold and propping himself upright against the bed, drawing in a deep shuddering breath as a final sob escaped him. Words were forming on his lips as his eyes darted this way and that.

“Ig..?” His voice was thick from tears, full of uncertainty. “Um, about all... _ that _ …I—”

“I shan’t tell the others of it, if that is what you wish.” Noct nodded slightly in response.

“Thanks.”

Another long silence. The two of them jumped at the sound of Ignis’ phone cutting through the silence.

“Hello?” the advisor was as well spoken as ever—it was as if he _ hadn’t _ just witnessed his close friend suffer a breakdown. “Yes, everything is fine, Gladio, Noct is right next to me…..His headaches have been causing some bother, but he’s alright now. We’ll be with you shortly.” Hanging up, a smile quirked his lips as Noct managed a small weary smile of his own. Ignis got to his feet, finding out one of their bags and rummaging through it, before handing a bottle of water to the prince. “Here, drink this. It’s important you stay hydrated.”

Noct downed the water faster than he’d anticipated, relishing the way it soothed his throat. He remained sat on the floor, arms rested on his knees as he held the empty water bottle limply in his hand. “...Ignis?” he asked, a cautious tone to his voice as he remained focused on looking at the door in front of him. The advisor turned his attention from neatening the bedsheets to look at him. “Can I really do this? The entire kingdom’s future rests on me. How am I s’posed to live up to that?”

Noct felt the slight movement of the mattress as Ignis sat upon it, placing a hand on his shoulder. “You won’t be alone, Noct,” he said gently, with a warmth that spread through Noctis’ entire body. “We shall be with you to help you bear that weight. Though it may be one step at a time, we  _ will _ reclaim our home. Together.”

Noct let out a long breath, allowing the words to sink in. He closed his eyes, nodding slowly. “Thanks, Iggy.”

“No need for thanks, Highness,” he said with a smile, standing once more. “Well then, are you ready to go? You can sleep in the car—I believe a rest is in good order.” After a few seconds, he nodded, a small but genuine smile on his face, getting carefully to his feet.

Together, they left the hotel for the warm streets of Lestallum. Ignis couldn’t hide his relief that the staff had whisked away the now battered magazine—Noct certainly didn’t need to see that again. The breeze was slight, but amazingly refreshing after what had happened. Noctis cast a brief look at Ignis, his eyes sore, but hopeful. How Ignis had such faith in him, he’d never know. But he was right—they would stand with him, and no matter what, he had to move forward.

Thankfully, he wasn’t moving forward alone.

**Author's Note:**

> Ahaa poor Noct :') idk if 'hope you enjoy' was the best phrase to use xD But the tags probably already gave that away, eheh~
> 
> Thanks so much for reading! <3
> 
>  
> 
> ~For updates and fandom stuff, check out my [art/writing](http://doodlebless.tumblr.com) and [fandom](http://angel-bless.tumblr.com) blogs. Also on [twitter](https://twitter.com/angel_bless) too!~


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